Live action remakes

Tale as old as time

true as it can be

Disney's making trends, but

the golden age must end,

unexpectedly....

How to never change?

Yet keep the content new,

Yes, there is a way,

to make the people pay...

live-action remakes!

Keep it all the same!

Never need to try!

Just like it was before,

when cinemas were full

and the profits high!

Tales as old as time,

tunes as old as song,

but it's in 3D,

so surely that must mean,

the films can do no wrong.

Certain as the cash

Rises in the bank,

Just make it all again,

stale, trite and plain,

and hope it doesn't tank!

Just make it all again,

Stale, trite and plain...

live action remakes

OK, but let's talk about these films. Forget, for a moment, the technical problems these films have had. They auto-tuning, the unnecessary celebrity actors, the "live action" animation, the terrible sound mixing and the blatant attempts to correct previous mistakes.

I know it's hard to forget these things, I've been trying since I first saw the Beauty and the Beast trailer, but let's all give it another go.

Done it?

Good.

Today, I don't want to talk about the films per say. Enough has been said about them.

I want to talk about whether Disney is letting it's consumers down. 

The thing is, nowadays, Disney films don't tank. They don't fail, at least, not by the standards of other films. Everything they make is almost guaranteed a massive audience. And that's sort of a problem. It means they can pretty much release... well, anything. And if it's easier to take an existing story, an old formula and just mix it back together with some glossy animation, celebrity cast and a a few new pieces... well, you can see how it might be tempting.

But what it means is that we're being given the same stories over and over again. Yes, they might have a new twist, a new gimmick. But there's nothing substantially new there. There are scripts being written and turned away because Disney is funneling resources into these remakes instead. For every film Disney makes and releases, how many scripts are turned away? There are probably dozens of stories we could have had, but which will never see the light of day again. One of those could have been the next Frozen, or Moana, or Hunchback. But instead, we get "live action" lions. 

Disney, come on. You're better than this. 

And now Disney basically owns everything, it's time it held itself to a higher standard. Yes it can do whatever it wants and the public will lap it up. We'll make ourselves like it because, well, frankly there isn't going to be much choice. Three of the six Disney branded films released in 2019 are live action remakes. The other three are all sequels.

So in 2019, Disney made no original films. No new stories. No new sets of characters.

And people will watch them. Five of the six highest grossing films of this year are made by Disney. The other one in those six is Far from Home, so.... sort of Disney. A bit. Of those, three are Disney branded, or Disney house blend, as I think of it. Two of those are live action remakes. 

So, for Disney fans, you either have to start loving Toy Story and Marvel, or deal with the live action remakes.

Disney is the largest media creator on the planet. It can get away with a lot, but by being this lazy they're doing a real disservice to their fans. Thankfully, there is an end in sight. 

Mostly because there's only so many Disney Golden age films left to be adapted. But when you look at the next few years, there is, shock horror....

ORIGINAL CONTENT!!!

New as yet unnamed animated film, I look forward to seeing you. Until then I'll be re-watching the 2D golden age films while wearing 3D glasses. Because if you want to see your old Disney favourites in a new (and worse) light, there's no better way of doing it.